Improvisations
Sunday, January 23rd 2022
We need the big things to look forward to, it's the little things that make us happy. With no clear plan for the day, I joined my roommates to the Getty Villa. This is an antiquities museum, situated at the beach, halfway Santa Monica and Malibu. It's an ironic place to visit when you've been a Latin geek for six years and have seen the most prestigious Greek & Roman art exhibitions in Europe itself. Nevertheless, the weather was nice and the girls were fun.
In the afternoon, I watched the sunset with a friend.. I'm a sucker for sunsets. The garden from my childhood home made me love them; my exchange in Australia made me obsessed about them. Tonight's sunset is one for the books. The skies might not be as pink as in Noossa, but they were nearly as orange as my national soccer team. Though we started out on the tribune of the beach, we finished it on the playing field, standing knee-deep in the ice water
Once it was dark, we walked over the beach, alongside the ocean, before we parted our ways. I went to a Thai place and had one of the best pad thai's I've had in years. The place had just simple tables outside and a few fairy lights, but the hippest folks were arriving with skateboards, beanies and bone structure. I had to admit it was slightly intimidating. I like the way I look, but my backpacker outfits just aren't the best ones. Sitting next to them, overhearing their conversation and seeing their confidence, a spark of jealousy ignited within me. They looked so effortlessly cool, like they were just born with it. I know it's bullshit - I have nothing to complain about. Still, I see jealousy as a warning sigh. I don't feel it a lot, but when I do, I know there's some aspect in life I'm not happy about. And I think that was just the case: Those people have a life. I don't. Even though I might be doing cooler stuff than I'd be doing at home, I don't have a life. Except for my friends and family and dog, there's no reason to return to that brick house that's called my home. I suppose that's why I'm here: To find desire to start my life up again. To no longer be afraid to apply for jobs. To no longer be afraid to open up to anyone.
At the restaurant, there was one family with little kids who were laughing. Their dad was singing, something with 'Down the River'. The daughters were embarrassed, but they were so lucky. They loved each other so deeply, I could feel it from nine feet away. I'd finished my plate by then and it was too busy to stick around much longer, so I walked home, singing my improvisation of 'Down the River' in the meantime. It was a beautiful day.
